How do you stop feeling like you haven’t earned the right to take your place anywhere?
Lately, I can’t write anything without wondering whether it deserves to sit beside the work of people who’ve done more than I have.
I can’t speak from my own experience without questioning what authority I have to say any of it, even when all I’m describing is how I feel.
I’m so determined never to become someone who claims to have all the answers that I’ve made myself uncertain about everything.
It makes me feel weak.
I want to trust myself, but I’m terrified of becoming so certain that I can no longer see where I might be wrong.
And I find this same conflict everywhere.
I want to be seen, but I question whether I deserve it.
I want to be confident, but I fear becoming arrogant.
Can I lose my faith while still valuing what belief once gave me?
Can I be healed while still grieving the person I had to become to survive?
Do you ever finally know?