I couldn't figure out how to get my car hood open.
I was out there fighting for my life for absolutely no reason. Finally gave up and texted the person I’ve been sharing all my ridiculous little life updates with lately like, how the hell do you open this thing?
Then of course I figured it out two seconds later. Because that is apparently my whole brand. Struggle violently, panic, and then solve it right after asking for help so the help arrives just in time to watch me not need it.
Naturally, I texted him that too. Because I'm a quadruple texting heathen.
I'm standing outside with this giant jug of windshield wiper fluid, pouring it into what I sincerely hope is the right spot, texting him in real time like, if this is wrong, I guess my car and I are about to learn together.
He's busy. He's doing stuff. He had no real reason to stop what he was doing because I was outside at seven at night having a minor emotional event over windshield wiper fluid.
But he did.
He Googles the cap. Sends me a picture. Makes sure I did it right. And when I tell him I did, he says:
"Good job :)"
And when I tell you I started crying…
Because people treat independence like it's a compliment. Like being the person who can handle everything is something to be proud of. And I understand why they think that. I do. And it is.
But when you’ve spent your whole life with no choice but to figure it out on your own, and almost no one has ever stopped to say, “Hey, you did that. I noticed. I’m glad you got it right,” it stops feeling like a compliment after a while.
It just starts feeling lonely.
He didn’t have to help me. He didn’t have to stop what he was doing. He didn’t have to look it up, send the picture, check on me, or tell me I did a good job after something as stupid and small as pouring windshield wiper fluid into a car. It was nothing.
But he showed up for the nothing. Like it was something. Because it was something to me, and somehow that was enough for it to be something to him too.
I’m strong enough to do things on my own, and here is a man gently reminding me that I don’t always have to. I cannot stress enough what a relief that is.