I’m about to do something I’ve been incapable of doing since I was seventeen years old: I’m surrendering to sovereignty.
Typically, at this point, the old me would cling to someone—anyone—who was “good enough,” just so I wouldn’t have to be alone. Because truly, my worst fear is being alone in my darkness.
Metaphorically and literally.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of sleeping alone. There were so many nights as a kid when I cried myself to sleep because I couldn’t bear the crushing nothingness. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop carrying that wound.
But I don’t want “good enough.”
Not anymore.
This time, I want to be absolutely certain I am making the right choice.
So it’s time to face my greatest fear head-on. And in my sovereignty, I will be able to recognize—and accept—what I’ve been looking for all along.